by B. Barton Biddlearton | Score: 1700
In his lab, safety goggles pushed up into his ginger hair, he measured out the ingredients into a beaker and placed it on a Bunsen burner. He set a timer. Exactly ten minutes. Ten minutes and Pat would be his. She had been playing hard to get, but now he had looked up the love potion on the dark web.
He would give it to her at work and she would be his. He went to bed that night knowing that his dreams would come true.
That night they came for him. The magic police. They broke in with a battering ram, raced to his room and cuffed him, then perp-walked him out to the black-and-white magic carpet.
The magic police.
"Imagine trying a love potion in this day and age," one cop said.
"Yeah, hasn't he ever heard of date rape?"
He had to drink it as a punishment, and spent his life enamored of a fire hydrant.