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How I ended the world by being so racist

by WouldntYouLikeToKnowWeatherBoy | Score: 6600

I just lost a game of call of duty, the only video game, so I reached up onto my bookcase, past my paintbrush with bristles all askew, for my dictionary of racial slurs. I was just cranking through them, alphabetical order, when it occurred to me that I hadn't used enough misogyny yet. I was of course role-playing as my character in the game of call of duty, an orc barbarian with a rude attitude and pizzazz like nobody knows in the us marines called Chrissy Teigen, which means that it was actually really okay for me to have called the other player a 'bitch-nosed griplat,' a word which is so bad it has been banned in over fifty us states. However, when I ran out of curse words from my book and began to improvise by reading them all backwards, a glyph opened in the air and I was sucked (not in a fun way) into a time portal that sent me thirty years into the future. I was face to face with a lab technician called Joey Graceffa who was a rambunctious tyke and also a nonce. He was reading a novel by RJ Kowling, known astroturf enthusiast and big twit, called 'How a racist cod player caused the apocalypse and everyone lost their jobs.' And here's the plot twist: the racist turned out to be..... pewdiepie haha jk it was me. The novel was non-fiction it was a non-fiction novel. Joey Graceffa put the novel down on his desk and turned to his work trying to remove the venomous spores of racism that killed everyone from the atmosphere these analogies are getting kinda off. An astronomer who wanted to lick the moon entered and introduced themself as Ross Geller, brother of Uri, before realising who I was and deciding he wanted to beat me to death for the thing that I did that made the world end rmember that I didn't. He kicked me high, and he kicked me low, and just then a letter arrived that said 'DON'T KICK THE SHIT OUT OF HIM' on the envelope and the letter said 'Ross Geller' so either whoever sent it was an idiot or post works the other way around now in the future when this story's set. Ross took off his water goggles which he had been wearing the whole time and decided to only beat me half to death. The guy who brought the letter, Maisie Williams' son, said 'I'm not sure about this but Sonic the hedgehog killed him with a gun. Also the letter was sent by.... me hah plot tiw

Completed challenges

The following challenges were completed during the writing exercise:

Begin Start typing to begin
Event Your character loses a game
Prop Include a paintbrush
Words Reach 50 words
Character An unpleasant barbarian
Letter Use the letter Z
Words Reach 100 words
Event Your character travels into the future
Character A childish laboratory technician
Prop Include a novel
Words Reach 200 words
Letter Use the letter I
Event Someone loses his/her job
Prop Include a desk
Character An ambitious astronomer
Words Reach 300 words
Letter Use the letter K
Event A mysterious letter arrives
Prop Include a pair of water goggles
Words Reach 400 words
Character An uncertain delivery driver

This story was written using Taleforge, the free writing exercise app powered by The Story Shack. Curious? Try it yourself.

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