I’m not a big believer of love. What can I say? I’m the child of divorced parents who got divorced before I even really said my first word. What do you expect?
It doesn’t help that every instance I’ve imagined myself to be in love, it’s turned out disastrous. Either I feel put down, or isolated, or like I’m just not good enough. Or I leave them feeling that way despite my best efforts not to. But that’s a story for another time.
Anyway, I guess you could say I was absolutely bewildered and puzzled when I met him. His smiled dazzled me and I was unarmed and unprepared to take him dead on. Like he insisted.
And it was a whirlwind. You could say absolutely madness. But it was also amazing. I won’t deny that.
I think I did love him. And not in the way where I say I love someone only to realize they’re the flavor of the week, month, quarter, whatever. I loved him. Truly. Enough to....I don’t know start putting on lotion every day because he complimented how soft my legs were when I did. Because when I fought with him, it was because he made me feel insignificant. He doesn’t want to own up to it and that’s fine. That’s ok. He doesn’t have to I guess but he did. That won’t change even if he does.
I’m afraid he can’t. I’m really afraid of what if he doesn’t change and I have to get rid of his number and lose it forever. Which isn’t true because it’s the only number in my adult life I have memorized.
This is funny. Amusing even. This is supposed to be a prompt but I’m making a freaking journal entry right now, aren't I? Of course I am.
Sometimes I want to cry. Wade out into the water and scream until I can’t anymore. Does that make me a coward?
The following challenges were completed during the writing exercise:
Event Someone falls in love
Begin Start typing to begin
Words Reach 50 words
Words Reach 100 words
Letter Use the letter Z
Prop Include a bottle of lotion
Words Reach 200 words
Letter Use the letter S
Event An important phone number is lost
Words Reach 300 words
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