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Top Ten Raptures - #3 will surprise you

by WouldntYouLikeToKnowWeatherBoy | Score: 6450

I was, in a word, plastered. In another word, blasted. I felt like a wall about to fall down. My mum had told me that absinthe tasted like M&Ms, which was a complete lie - it tastes like Skittles (R). She's an astronomer, with a heart of gold and lungs of steel - well, she needs 'em when she smokes lead cigarettes three times a day. I was lost, and needed a map of the stars to guide me - not a figurative map, a literal map. I was in the middle of a field. And drunk. I felt like a cow except drunk. My phone beeped with the news report that all humans were dead except me and the person who wrote the article that popped up on my phone were dead, but on the bright side de facto world peace? Actually, the message didn't exactly say that, it said 'HELP IS ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE' so I guess it was more Buzzfeed quality: scrolling through the suggested articles I saw 'HELP ME STUCK IN BUZZFEED OFFICES IS ANYONE OUT THERE', 'HOW TO SURVIVE IN APOCALYPSE - NOT GIVING ADVICE BUT REQUESTING IT' and 'WHICH APOCALYPSE SURVIVOR ARE YOU? NO PLEASE, REALLY, TELL ME WHO YOU ARE.' Their tagline said they had been a managing director for Buzzfeed with a love of painting in between all the screams. I put on my pair of water goggles as I prepared to cross the Atlantic Ocean because I was in England and Buzzfeed is in America. But, I heeded the warning my mother, a space lady, had given me about a meteor going to strike the Earth in six days in the centre of the Atlantic, so instead I took the long way around through Russia. When I finally arrived in America in 2025, it had been 1978 when the world ended but I got DISTRACTED okay? I found a small colony of survivors nestled in Seattle, where Buzzfeed is maybe based. There was a delivery driver who, if I were pushed to describe in a single adjective, I would call stoic, The Joker, and my mum omg she was alive the whole time who knew but also she was younger than me plot twist? Because she was the same age as me last time we met. Then I had a fight out of confusion until I remembered that she had Benjamin Button syndrome. Also her name was Jackie and my name is Jeanine and the Buzzfeed person was called Jim and the driver was called John and the Joker was called the Joker. Then we watched Inside Out, when an unwilling television presenter called Jim Bowen arrived and was racist. Then we beat him up. I think I fell asleep then. The End...?

Completed challenges

The following challenges were completed during the writing exercise:

Begin Start typing to begin
Event Someone is drunk
Letter Use the letter M
Words Reach 50 words
Character A warmhearted astrologer
Prop Include a map
Words Reach 100 words
Event World peace is achieved
Words Reach 200 words
Letter Use the letter B
Character An artistic managing director
Prop Include a pair of water goggles
Event A meteor approaches Earth
Letter Use the letter O
Words Reach 300 words
Character A stoic delivery driver
Prop Include a playing card
Event A fight breaks out
Words Reach 400 words
Letter Use the letter J
Character An unwilling television presenter

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